The loss of loved ones is always a tragedy. However, different peoples cope with their grief in different ways. On the island of Sulawesi in Indonesia, there is a centuries-old tradition that shocks us but helps local residents cope with the pain of loss and remain close to their loved ones after their death. To do this, the body of the deceased is left unburied for several months or even years, after which it is given a respectful send-off on its final journey. Then, with enviable regularity, the body is taken out of the crypt to meet once again with those who are dear to them.

The dead of Sulawesi: on the island, it is customary to leave the deceased in the house for several years before burying them.

In Sulawesi, they believe that after death, a person’s body does not necessarily have to be buried immediately. It can remain in the house where they lived for as long as their loved ones deem necessary. At the same time, the deceased is treated as if they were alive. It is believed that they are asleep or ill, but can hear and feel everything. People try to surround them with attention, not leaving them alone or turning off the lights in their room. The bodies are cared for—their clothes are changed, they are washed from time to time, and food, water, and cigarettes are even left for them.

Gradually, the deceased become mummified.

When the family finally decides that they are ready to bury the body (or, more precisely, place it in a crypt), preparations for the funeral begin. The ritual necessarily includes songs, dances, and the sacrifice of buffalo. In Sulawesi, it is believed that buffaloes help the soul of the deceased cross over into the afterlife, so many animals are slaughtered, cooked on a bonfire, and served to all those who have come to see the deceased off on their final journey.

The burial is also not quite ordinary: the body is not buried in the ground, but placed in a kind of crypt—natural caves, of which there are many in the mountains. Relatives know that the farewell is not for long, as they will soon retrieve the body of the deceased to remember him and be with him again and again. This custom is called manene or “purification of the dead.” Every two or three years, the family comes to the deceased, takes them out of the crypt, takes a family portrait as a memento, talks to them, and puts them back in their place. Both adults and children participate in all of this. For them, their deceased relatives are eternally asleep, but not at all scary. The physical relationship between the dead and the living continues for a long time.

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At manene ceremonies, friends and relatives bring the dead food and cigarettes, and lovingly wash and tidy them up. Then they pose with them for a new family portrait.

Homemade dolls carved from wood are always placed next to the crypts. These figures are “copies” of the deceased, often dressed in similar clothes, sometimes even with wigs made from the deceased’s hair. These dolls are called tau-tau, and are essentially the equivalent of the photographs we usually place on monuments. These dolls are very expensive, costing around $1,000, but the locals spare no expense. It is worth noting that funerals are also not cheap; they are almost the most expensive event in the life of every resident of Sulawesi.

To the rest of the world, these traditions may seem wild. However, it is possible that the principles underlying them are not so different from other cultures. Many of us try not to forget our deceased loved ones. It’s just that in Sulawesi, they approach this in a completely different way.